David Salle is teaching an art criticism class at The Bruce High Quality Foundation University that I'm lucky enough to be in.
The first assignment was an abstract associative approach to describing art as a response to three different prompts.
I'm sharing the responses I wrote below. I recommend trying it out! It's super fun once you get going.
This
is art that says...
Abe
Morell's photos say abracadabra.
Claes
Oldenburg's sculptures say look in between your couch cushions.
Holly
Coulis paintings say I'm reading your dreams.
Guido
Reni paintings say it's time to waltz.
Trenton
Doyle Hancock's work says meat is good for you.
Marilyn
Minter's work says more is more, darling.
Morandi's
work says I only drink water, no ice.
Kusama's
paintings say the infinite is finite.
Erwin
Wurm's work says the world is a dumb place if you look at it hard
enough.
Diane
Arbus photos say quit staring.
10
examples of art and place them in their appropriate settings.
Lisa
Yuskavage paintings belong in the waiting room of the gynecologist
office to lend some humor, color and poignancy to the absurdity of
being a woman.
While
exploring a mountain trail in Vermont, slightly dehydrated and blurry
from the trek I would like to stumble upon a Neo Rauch painting
tucked away in a cave slightly hidden by the brush.
Peter
Doig paintings belong in a child's playroom.
I
would like to see Richard Serra sculptures replace all the jungle
gyms in the playgrounds in Central Park. Children would desperately
throwing themselves at the hard vertical sides of the forms trying to
pull themselves up onto the sculpture with their skinny booger
covered fingers.
Daniel
Richter paintings would be at home in a dance tent at a music
festival.
Rachel
Whiteread sculptures belong in the lego section of FAO Schwartz.
Dante
Gabriel Rosetti paintings would find a happy home in the library of
The Brearley School, an upper east side girls school full of teenaged
literary feminists.
Yayoi
Kusama's room installations are what you should walk through after
exiting an ice skating rink when your body is warm with blood bumping
from activity and your skin is cold from the raw winter air.
Stephen
Mueller paintings belong in the waiting room at the eye doctor.
Mamma
Andersson paintings would be at home at every slumber party I've ever
had.
This
work puts me in mind of…….”
Vuillard
paintings put me in the mind of the way space feel when you hide
under a table.
Josephine
Halvorson paintings put me in the mind of watching an ant carry a
leaf that is four times the size of his own body.
The
main James Turrel work at the Guggenheim make me think of the title
screen of Looney Tunes.
Mike
Kelley sculptures put me in the mind of being in the ball pit at
McDonald's.
Louise
Bourgeois puts me in the mind of that feeling you get right after
waking from a bad dream where the horror still feels near but you can
just taste the relief of distance.
Dan
Flavin puts me in the mind of being on a beach when the sun is
directly overhead and I lie down and close my eyes but the sun burns
through my lids creating that inescapable red glow.
Michael
Borremons paintings put me in the mind of being in a foreign country
where a beer is still a beer but all the signs are in another
language.
Martha
Colburn videos put me in the mind of being a child and looking
through flip books.
Balthus
paintings put me in the mind of waking up in a bedroom that isn't
yours and forgetting, just for the brief moment when you are opening
your eyes, where you are.
Sally
Mann's photographs put me in the mind of being a child and realizing
that one day your parents are going to die.
